A strong woman raising daughters

I work in a male dominated profession and because of that, I am often the only woman in a meeting and I hold my own.  It doesn’t end there.  Part of my job requires inspecting construction activities, which means I am in a hard hat and vest looking over the contractor’s shoulder making sure they are doing it right.   This isn’t painting a kitchen construction, but heavy equipment, large backhoes, big holes in the ground, diverted traffic, and multi-million dollar budget construction.  I own steel toed boots, work gloves and a hard hat.  I also own power suits, heels and hose.  Enough said?

I am strong willed, independent, determined, and able to stick up for my point of view when there is a difference of opinion.  Even when it’s my boss that disagrees.  No one who knows me would say that I am easily intimidated. That’s my professional face.  The one my clients and employers see.

At home?

I am intimidated by creatures much smaller than me, with decades less experience, and whom have no direct say over me.

My daughters.

They are bright, happy, gorgeous girls with the world at their feet, but make me question myself and my mom decisions every day:

• If I agree to buy my daughters this toy, will it undermine their financial responsibility?
• If I don’t let them wear makeup, will they struggle trying to figure out what compliments their coloring when they’re older?
• Will letting them highlight their hair cause the boys to pay more attention to them and therefore start their dating sooner?
• Should I make them wear shorts under their skirts?  Or will that make them think they should hide their body and cause
  body image issues later in life?
• If I don’t let them have sleep overs, will they miss out on a huge coming of age experience?
• How old should they be before dating?
• Will putting my daughters in preschool at 3 be too soon?  Or too late?
• If I don’t sign them up for dance classes, will they learn to be graceful?
• Should they play a variety of sports or focus on one to get really good at it?
• If I don’t pay for this special competitive coach, will they miss out on being the next hot athlete in that sport?

The questions are endless.  After talking to other parents, it seems this second guessing is a normal part of raising kids.  But for me, I seem to question myself more about my daughters than my son.  This bothered me for a long time.  If it’s just about being a parent, shouldn’t it be the same for my son as my daughters?

 

I’ve thought about it and my best guess is that it’s because I have experience as a woman and a working mom.  I know the delicate balance we try to achieve with being assertive and yet feminine simultaneously.  With being strong and yet delicate.  Supportive, but not mothering (except for our kids).  Corporate diva, attractive wife, Mary Poppins, and domestic goddess all wrapped into one woman and doing all of it as though we had 24 hours a day to dedicate to each.

I haven’t figured out how to be all of these women at the same time.  How am I supposed to teach my daughters something that I have yet to master?

Yes, I’m a strong woman – but raising my daughters is intimidating.

Is it just me?

Anyone else out there struggling with raising their daughters?